"Don't Settle"

"What a revelation it was when she realized she didn't need to settle"

http://reflectionsofrevelation.com/revelation-dont-settle-8x10/

Do you ever feel like you have to settle for less than? Less than you deserve, less than you can afford, less than you want?  why do we cut ourselves short and settle, when we know we will regret the decision down the road, or it will cause us more work or heartache at some point?

Some times we know we are settling, and some times we have no idea.  I was in a season where I had no idea I was settling for less than the best in my life.  I thought I was content being the "office girl", the one to stay put and shuffle papers while everyone else went out adventuring.  I would stay, like the spoke of the wheel, while other went out and did great exploits.  And I almost had myself convinced that was just the kind of person I was.  I almost had myself believing that I was mild, meek, content to stay put and behind the scenes.

Almost.  But this little spark, way down deep inside me called me out.  It called me a liar and a cheat.  It quietly began its way from the deep place I stored it, wiggling out and into my soul, calling a spade a spade.

It told me that I wasn't really content and happy, that I was kidding myself to think I was.  I was actually living my life out of fear, and settling for safe rather than take risks and let my adventurous side out.  And I wrestled with these thoughts for quite awhile.  Wasn't fear of the unknown scary and couldn't I get hurt if I left my comfort zone?  Why would I risk the status quo to cause waves when I had security in the average, every day?These, and other thoughts, swirled through my mind like the leaves in an autumn breeze.  Was I really happy?  Or was I truly settling out of fear? How would I know? When would I know?

And then, suddenly, it hit me. I was totally and completely running from anything unsafe out of fear of the unknown.  If I couldn't evaluate it, process it beforehand, file it, collate it, administrate it, I wouldn't do it.  Because the unknown is messy, and dangerous, and out of control.

And I decided there and then that I was tired of living my life in fear.  Because ultimately, I can't control everything all around me all the time.  Truth be told, it was exhausting.  Trying to keep myself safe was completely draining.  I could never really let my guard down and just have fun.  I could never let myself just be me.  What if I was rejected?  What if I got hurt? What if I was embarrassed or humiliated?

But on the other hand, what if I had a great time? What if everything worked out? What if I loved living an adventurous life? An entirely new set of what ifs starting whirling my little engine that could, and I began to see life from a new vantage point.  So much so, that I spent about three months living in a third world country, changing lives and having my life changed forever.

And yes, that' me in the photograph. Where am I? Oh, I called that my "other office"...I'm just cave tubing down the Belize River on a beautiful April day.  Right after my birthday.  Because if you are going to do different and fight for the best in your life, you might as well do it big, right?



Photo taken with iPhone 4, April 2013, Belize River, Belize.  
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